something that is difficult for me to understand about a lot of Christian guys is they feel the need or the right to date around, get to know (aka flirt) with multiple females, keeping their options open, until they figure out which one they want to date. all the while the girls are feeling like they are special and the only one getting the attention. a lot of times these types of "Christian daters" use the excuse that it's "God's calling" and "God's plan for them" to not settle down yet but be friends with many girls at one time.
ok, let's be honest: this is a complete cop-out for Christian guys who just want to get to know many girls while making it seem like it's their calling.
i know a guy who does this. he's big into missions work and wants a girl to be his wife and they can do missions work together. however, in the search for a wife, he feels the needs or right to talk to more than one girl at one time claiming he's not leading them on because he just "wants to get to know them" as friends. i'm sorry, but you can't flirt with a girl continuously and not expect her to feel like you are actually into her. then to pull out the God card and say, "i don't think God wants us to be together." you know, if you were listening to God in the first place, things wouldn't be this way.
why do a lot of Christian guys use God to talk to many girls? i just don't understand...
Comments (3)
it's the same kind of thing that many girls would play that exact same God card to cop out of a relationship... the expression "I feel like God told me..." is a big thing
The thing is that many guys will use the God-card to either get out of responsibility or use it to exploit... reason?? Christian guys are still sinners... and many of them need to grow up...
What a great post!
haha, I have seen so many "Christian" guys going from girl to girl claiming God "told him she wasn't the one". Next!
God doesn't pick our mates for us. He gives us the moral guidelines by which to have a relationship and it's our responsibility to behave accordingly and make every attempt to have a successful relationship.
I think it's important for girls to identify guys like this and stay away from them. They are just as bad as non-Christian guys.
**edit, I also agree with the comment above mine. It's important as women to make sure we don't play those games either.
Marriage is a support system for one another where we take care of each other and in order to show people that we’re serious, we should behave that way. I’ve always considered the feelings of another person and since some relationships end in rejection, I never felt it was right to hurt several people at the same time. That is why I would never date more than one person at a time.
You asked why Christian guys “ feel the need or the right to date around”. A couple of reasons may be that they are looking for fun and they aren’t serious. Another reason is they are insecure and realize that relationships end in rejection and if they’ve been hurt then they always want someone in their pocket. Some people are perfectionists and they are looking for the right one or someone better. Others don’t want to settle. Men enjoy the chase and when marriage starts, the chase is over. But I think the cause is selfishness and selfishness will manifest itself in ways I can’t predict in marriage. We are selfish to get the flavor of the month and people are fickle which I describe and unpredictably changeable. How is that supposed to make you feel secure? “I’m here for you but…there are these other women.”
If you amplified your question, why do Christian guys “feel”? Why would they need to “feel”? Feel what? Your danger signals are right on target because they don’t need to feel anything. If you put any man and any woman together, what do you think will happen? They will “feel” biological and chemical responses. They don’t have to “feel” they are compatible because men and women are automatically compatible with one another. Love is a decision and it isn’t a feeling and faith isn’t a feeling either because it is evidence not seen:
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
I think God’s calling is used as a cloak to do what we want to do. We’re asked to pray about stuff and we’re asked to hear from God. I can answer you falsely “This is G-d’s will” and what I want to do is also G-d’s will. Why is it that people are at the expense of their will?
James 1:8 A double minded man [is] unstable in all his ways.
And I believe that God has already answered these men in His word which is why they keep going back and forth without an answer (Amos 8:12).
James 4:3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume [it] upon your lusts.
Amos 8:12 And they shall wander from sea to sea, and from the north even to the east, they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the LORD, and shall not find [it].
Lusts:
1) pleasure
2) desires for pleasure
“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:”
From Shakespeare's As You Like It, 1600